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To the Fatherless Daughter, You’re not alone, my dear. Every young woman is born with a strong and sacred love for her father. From birth we have an unexplainable desire to trust him, lean on him and believe the best in him. The role of a father in the life of his daughter is a sacred one. There is no doubt of the importance of this relationship dynamic. Truth is, every daughter desires to have a special bond with their father; regrettably, not every girl has the chance. Whether or not your father is absent voluntarily or involuntarily, similar struggles can often present themselves as you move forward and learn to navigate life without him. Sixteen years ago, I lost my father. As I write this letter, I have lived the majority of my life without him. I was eleven years old when he passed and I was completely unaware of the unique set of challenges that it would create for me over time because of such a heartbreaking and confusing loss. I, too, have felt the impact of being a fatherless daughter and have seen the ripples of it in my closest relationships, greatest successes and most difficult seasons. You may not know it now, but one day you will come to realize that this heartbreaking experience will become yet another beautiful and brilliant part of who you are. My story has created in me a passion for helping other women navigate this shift. I am writing you this letter with the sheer hope that a few of the life lessons I’ve learned along the way will guide you in navigating your own unique journey. Learn to forgive your father. Learn to forgive yourself.Do this by remembering the small and perfect moments you spent together. If you were not able to create these memories with your father, I encourage you to write down the lessons that you learned from his legacy instead. If at all possible, seek out ways to honor your father.Dedicate one day a year when you meditate on him, spending more of your energy thinking about the things he did right. This can be Father’s Day, or another date that holds significant meaning. You can donate your time to helping other young men and women with similar experiences, write an encouraging letter to your father (even if it’s one you never send) or recreate a sentimental moment that you both shared (like building a bird house or visiting a park). You may not know it now, but one day you will come to realize that this heartbreaking experience will become yet another beautiful and brilliant part of who you are. Try to avoid using sarcasm as a shield or a defense mechanism for dealing with the pain.Instead, speak truth into your life and circumstances. Always seek out the beauty in life and in others. Watch as this begins to chip away at the walls around your heart and lead to greater joy and happiness. Truth is, the world needs you! The real you. Make the choice today and every day to do the hard work of digging deep and being vulnerable with yourself and with others who seek to understand more you. Learn to identify your feelings and emotions. Call them out. Learn how you feel sadness, anger, loneliness, joy, happiness, contentment and love. Seek out a mentor or counselor who can help you work through these emotions. I did and it made all the difference! Your vulnerability is what will draw people to you. It’s what makes us all human. You are lovely. You are simply magnificent. And your scars are a small part of the beautiful mosaic that makes you who you are. Each day, choose to live a life that will make you happy, a life that a true father would deeply desire his beloved daughter to live. I know it’s hard. Have courage and take heart. Never for one moment be ashamed of your story. Own it. Lean into it. You have the power to change your narrative and transform your story into a force for good that will encourage and inspire others. I believe with every fiber of my being that we can choose to allow our greatest challenges to hold us back in fear or propel us ever forward in love. Choose forward. Choose love. Written by Stasia Rose. First published on www.DarlingMagazine.org on June 18. 2017
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